“Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
…doe set free…
run after the Lord
Filed under Words …
cawan
seperti wanita yang bukan siapa siapa
yang tidak untuk diceritakanseperti wanita yang menunggu mati dirajam batu
menangis menunggu mautseperti wanita yang menunggu di kakiNya
seperti wanita yang menangis
dan membuatNya menangis karena kematian kakaknyaseperti wanita yang menggenggam buli-buli,
dan memecahkannya di kakiNya
dan yang tangisnya ikut terpecahseperti wanita yang menunggu di kaki salib
yang mengikuti aliran darah
dengan aliran air matanyaseperti wanita yang datang ke kubur Yesus
yang ingin sekali berjumpa
walau tak akan berbicara
walau yang akan ada hanya tangisanseperti wanita yang menjadi saksi kebangkitan
seperti wanita yang menunggu janji
bersama saudara berdoa menjelang hari pencurahandan dia yang setia sampai kesudahannya
dia yang menguras terlalu banyak air mata
untuk sesuatu yang hanya dia dan Tuannya yang mengertiseperti dia,
saya akan ada.
oleh Tesa Fiona, 16 April 2010
…my daily starting point…
My Daily Starting Point
…as time’s slowing down, Your soft spoken words on my heart left a stain…
A Psalm by Tesa – Majesty to My Very Best Friend
A Psalm, by Tesa, while she’s in hollow, hang on His promise.
I dedicated this psalm to my Father, my Redeemer, and specially for my very Best Friend, Holy Spirit.
A pleading psalm, a prayer from Psalm 79:11
When my mind stuck in things i don’t understand
and i see no doors,
His beauty reveals to me
and i know God works
through my tears,
through my knee,
through my prayer,
through my failure,
through my confusing,
even through my trembling faith.
Now i know
His promises sure,
His way is settled,
His will is unshakable,
like the sun saves the earth from darkness
He makes all things new
beautiful and in its time.
He collects my tears,
make a clear way of it
for me to get to the other side.
He hears my groans,
make a victorious horn of it
to frighten my enemy.
Perfect, Lord, oh perfect!
standing here knowing You do the battle for me
covered by tranquility as the enemy attack
rejoicing with unstoppable praises
while waiting for the revealing of your promises.
My comforter, my deliverer
the One i always can count on
my lover, lifter of my head
all the praises, all the glory
flooding Your throne!
I shout Your Majesty
I jump because of Your unfailing love
I bow down thinking how faithful You are
Make a fame of His Name!
for YHWH Himself willing to heal you
and the King of Israel humbly come to hold you
like a Father He calls you by name
enlighten your way, carry your burden
make your pain His
and sins you’ve committed as a perfect reason for Him to die
Make a fame of His name!
Shout His name so the whole world can hear!
Oh I will live my life wholly for You
and only You
for I no longer mine…
by Tesa Fiona, March 3rd 2010
…and tomorrow is today.
A separation is like when he’s smiling at me and I don’t know what he is thinking.
Then I smile back.
It’s like rain drops to the earth, makes shiny temporary spots, while we’re waiting the last drop.
Separation blocks your empty gaze.
Separation is like walking in silence with him that night.
It is like walking, still in silence, alone last night.
It is like a detained cry.
It is like you say nothing, and it is enough.
It is like to remember.
It is like to understand.
It’s like to be realistic.
It’s like missing he’s looking through my eyes.
It’s like changing too much.
It is like
waiting till tomorrow is today.
dedicated to all friends that i’m missing now, thanks for all.. yours always, Cha.
by Tesa Fiona, Dec 13th 2009
Malam Bercerita
Bagianku telah membelakangi matahari
Menatap hitam, hitam yang pudar.
Udaraku tak lagi perawan,
Dan bersiap tuk berganti kulit.
Sekejap setelah suara tertahan,
Sesosok bintang tak berkaki tak bersegi
Menyerap keseluruhan indraku
Hingga ku dingin, lembut dan suri
Sama sepertinya.
Melewati larutan hitam dan kosong,
Ku terikat pandangan kepadanya
Ku terikat rasa akannya, dan
Berharap dalam kelabilanku
Sang sosok cahaya perak berpisah dari alam
Datang untukku.
Bagianku bersiap melawan gelap
Menghembuskan nafas ragu akan hari
Menatap sang bumi menderap,
Sang bintang tak berkaki tak bersegi
Bergerak gelisah dalam keanggunannya.
Ah, ia begitu indah, sempurna
Bening dalam aura hiyu.
to lose my sense and touch
i am in a very long tunnel.
it’s dark, but i do see light. i see it at the edge of the tunnel, and i still try to find a way to reach it out.
Humm, the light doesn’t shade away the dark. how come?
i can see the light but it doesn’t lights me up. it doesn’t reach me up.
i have to reach it by myself.
Then i am walking along the tunnel, wonder when i’ll get reach the edge of it. My hands are shaking, damn, it is cold. i fold my hands and walk faster.
cold, alone, and tired. perfect.
hey, i am a multitasking girl; i am walking and i can sing along too
what song…
“it’s a damn cold night…
trying to figure out this life…“
melancholic….
“gotta get back,
gotta figure out the way,
i am losing my senses to you…“
*scream out* no no no dun wanna lose my senses, worried of my freezing hands.
“…and you wake up,
and tomorrow is today…“
pathetic
then i look down, no songs in my head, blown away and gone.
i am alone by myself, even my mind has left me here.
it is not good, not good. i drop tears. teased of the cold, the lonely even by the light i head up now.
My cry is a crying shame. seems to me i’ve lost my touch.
“she’s made her mark,
but lost her spark…
and what she’s pushing for,
she can’t remember…”
as my tears fills up my eyes, i can see the light is multiplicating. my tears makes it beautiful.
i make my steps faster as faster as i can. i can feel my self running now.
it is so intense.
i unfold my hands, starting to move it in the rhythm of my running steps.
gosh, it feels so right.
i am in a very long tunnel.
And it feels so right.
i am in a very long tunnel with no song in my head.
And, it DO feels so right.
by Tesa Fiona, April 28th 2009
Retorika
Retorika
Benarkah gelap sangat menakutkan,
Hingga kita berteriak ?
Dan terangkah yang sangat kau inginkan,
Sampai-sampai kau menerbitkan sumber terang
Ditengah-tengah gelap ?
Atau, semua ini hanyalah tradisi;
Warisan dari lingkungan kita ?
Yakinkah kau harmoni itu seni,
Dan keributan hanyalah pengusik ?
Selalukah harmoni membuatmu nyaman,
Dan menghindarkan kita dari rasa segan
Untuk menghentikannya ?
Atau, semua ini hanyalah tradisi;
Warisan dari budaya kita ?
Bukankah kita selalu berfikir,
Bahwa status merupakan lapisan transparan
Namun sangat tebal, yang membedakan
Kau dengan budakmu;
Kau dengan tuanmu ?
Atau, semua ini hanyalah tradisi;
Warisan dari filsafat kita ?
Seberapa kuatkah kau memahami
Pentingnya keseimbangan antara yang sementara dan yang kekal ?
Hingga kau merasa terlalu lelah untuk menyempurnakan
Keutuhan dirimu di antara keduanya ?
Dan mengapa kita masih terus melakukan kenajisan
Bagi yang kau sebut sementara itu ?
Atau, semua ini hanyalah tradisi;
Warisan dari kebumian ini ?
Karena terkadang,
Apa yang tersebut dengan tradisi itu
Berjalan karena adanya kepanikan,
Atau karena situasi diri yang sepertinya layak,
Atau karena harga diri dan upah dari suatu perjaunganmu
Atau juga karena kita hanyalah manusia
Yang diciptakan dalam emosi, karya dan karsa,
Ide-ide dan penalaran, juga ambisi dan nafsu;
Dalam suatu respon hidup dengan sesama
Untuk saling melangsungkan
Respon hidup itu sendiri
Revolution
Revolution
Stone became harder
Theory became real
Life becomes easier.
A particle became a bomb
Ego becomes wars
Dislikes becomes murder.
Philosophy becomes law
Music becomes commercial
Verse becomes meaningless
The earth becomes older.
Everything becomes higher
Everything becomes speeder
Everything becomes smaller,
They said to me.
I’ve got everything efficient
I’ve got everything I like
I’ve got everything I need
Even I don’t.
The need becomes discovery
Discovery becomes patent
Patent becomes imitation
Imitation becomes popular
In addition, popularity becomes imitation.
Life seems completed
The earth feels like paradise
All instruments are machines
Men became…
Heart became…
Relation became…
God became smaller.
